I can’t say for certain that this has been the most difficult time in my life, but it is most definitely up there.  Again, I am reminded that plans are just plans and not promises: things change all the time, and the big guy upstairs has doesn’t really care what our silly little brains have planned — things happen, and they happen for reasons (although they may be unbeknownst to us).

I could complain and mope and whine and wallow — all of which, I am sure, are accepted in my situation — but I feel like that isn’t helping me cope.   And it surely isn’t helping me be strong.  And I need to be strong.

I’m thankful to have my mom.  We’ve had close calls and horrible nights and scary scary weeks, but she’s here.  And she’s still my mom, even though she may need me to take care of her, instead.

I’m thankful for “my people.”  The ones who are there for me, so I can  be there for my mom.

I’m thankful for knitting: the repetitive movements and the creation of something beautiful soothes my anxious mind (and hands).

I’m thankful that I’m in medical school.  Things make a lot more sense when you understand (however poorly) the physiology behind the pain, the medication, the disease.  But, while sense may be had, it doesn’t make the situation any less scary: just less mysterious.

I’m thankful for the internet.  ‘Nuff said.

I’m thankful for good doctors, and I hope one day I can be a great doctor, too.

I’m thankful for my family, no matter how neurotic certain personalities may be.  I love ’em and they love me (albeit in their own special ways).

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